---
title: The five questions to ask any AI vendor before it reads family email
description: An AI vendor due diligence checklist in five questions: training, retention, processing location, permissions and exit. A table to print and send to any vendor.
canonical: https://privatesuperintelligence.si/blog/ai-vendor-due-diligence-checklist/
last-updated: 2026-10-15
---

# The five questions to ask any AI vendor before it reads family email

AI vendor due diligence comes down to five questions: does the vendor train on your data, how long does it keep it, where is it processed, what can the AI do without a person approving, and how do you get everything back and deleted when you leave. Ask them in writing before any AI tool connects to the family's email, documents or accounts. The table below is built to print and send.

## Why AI vendors need their own review

Deloitte's Family Office Cybersecurity Report 2024, a survey of 354 single family offices, found that 68% had not adopted "know your vendor" protocols. Deloitte defines that as reviewing a vendor's security before you sign, for example by requesting security audit reports. The same report counts third-party risk among the attacks family offices have faced: 15% of attacked offices had been exposed through a third party.

An AI vendor deserves extra care, because of what it touches. A portfolio platform sees holdings. An AI assistant connected to the principal's inbox sees everything the principal writes and receives, and it may act on it. IBM's 2025 Cost of a Data Breach Report found that 13% of organizations reported breaches of AI models or applications, and 97% of those had no AI access controls in place.

Staff also bring in AI tools without a review at all. IBM found that one in five organizations reported a breach due to shadow AI, meaning AI tools staff use without approval, and that organizations with high levels of shadow AI saw breach costs $670,000 higher on average. A checklist gives your team a quick, standard route to a yes, which cuts the temptation to skip the process.

## The checklist

Send the "Ask the vendor" column as written. Score each answer against the last two columns.

| # | Topic | Ask the vendor | A good answer | A red flag |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| 1 | Training | Do you, or any model provider you use, train or fine-tune models on our data, including feedback ratings and support tickets? Is that in the contract? | No training on our data by anyone, stated in the contract, covering every model provider and subprocessor | "Not by default", an opt-out setting, or a promise in a blog post but not the contract |
| 2 | Retention | What do you store after a task ends: prompts, outputs, files, logs, indexes, backups? For how long? What happens to content a safety system flags? | A list of every data store with a retention period for each, including model providers, logs and backups | "We don't store anything" with no list, or retention that only covers the model and not logs, indexes or backups |
| 3 | Processing location | Which models process our requests? Where do they run, in which country, and on whose infrastructure? Who at your company or your model provider can see our prompts or outputs? | Named models and providers, named regions, a subprocessor list, and a clear answer on human access | "Leading models" with no names, or the right to change providers without telling you |
| 4 | Permissions | What can the AI read, and what can it do without a person approving? Can we set limits per person and per action? Is every action logged? | Read and draft by default; sending, sharing and payments need approval; per-person limits; an audit log you can export | One admin switch for everything, no audit log, or the AI can send email or move money by default |
| 5 | Exit and deletion | How do we export our data? How do we delete every copy, including backups and model provider copies? What proof do we get? What happens if you are acquired or shut down? | Export in standard formats, deletion within a stated period, written confirmation, and contract terms that survive a change of control | Deletion "on request" with no timeline, no proof, or backups excluded |

Also ask for the vendor's most recent security audit report, as Deloitte suggests, and its incident notification terms: who calls you, and how fast.

## How to read the answers

**Training.** Model providers set different defaults for consumer and business accounts. Our guide [is ChatGPT safe for confidential information?](/blog/is-chatgpt-safe-for-confidential-information/) shows how one provider's plans differ. Your vendor's answer has to cover every provider it routes to, including fallback models.

**Retention.** "Zero data retention" usually covers one model endpoint and leaves files, batch jobs, indexes and logs to separate terms. Read [what zero data retention covers and misses](/blog/zero-data-retention-ai/) before you accept a ZDR claim as the full answer.

**Processing location.** Ask the question two ways: where the data is stored, and where the model runs. A vendor can store your documents in your chosen region and still send each request to a model in another.

**Permissions.** This question matters most for family offices, because a fake request for a wire only works if something will act on it. Draft-only access covers most of the value. The [deepfake wire fraud guide](/blog/deepfake-wire-fraud-family-offices/) explains why payments stay with people.

**Exit and deletion.** Ask before you sign, while the vendor still wants your business. A vendor that can describe its deletion process in detail has run it before.

## For RIAs and multi-family offices: Regulation S-P

If you are an SEC-registered investment adviser, the 2024 amendments to Regulation S-P require written policies and procedures "reasonably designed to require oversight, including through due diligence and monitoring, of service providers." The SEC set compliance dates of December 3, 2025 for larger entities and June 3, 2026 for smaller ones. An AI vendor that handles client information is a service provider, and this checklist gives you a written record of the due diligence. Our [guide to Regulation S-P and AI vendors](/blog/reg-s-p-and-ai-vendors/) goes further.

This section is general information and not legal advice.

## How to use this checklist

1. Send the five questions to the vendor in writing, and ask for written answers.
2. Ask for the security audit report and the subprocessor list at the same time.
3. Score each answer: good, unclear or red flag. Two unclear answers should send you back for a call.
4. Record the decision and the date in your AI tools register, as the [one-page AI policy](/blog/family-office-ai-policy/) suggests.
5. Ask the same five questions again at renewal, or when the vendor adds a new model or feature.

## Private SuperIntelligence

Private SuperIntelligence from Mitosis Labs is an AI concierge for family offices, enterprises and private clients: the most capable AI, trusted with everything. Each deployment is built for one client, from the hardware to the choice of model provider to where the data is stored, and a client deployment sends no telemetry back to Mitosis Labs. See the [private AI guide for family offices](/blog/private-ai-for-family-offices/) or [AI for family offices](/family-offices/).

## Frequently asked questions

### What should an AI vendor due diligence checklist include?

At minimum: training on your data, retention of every data store, where processing happens, what the AI may do without approval, and exit and deletion. Add the vendor's security audit report and incident notification terms.

### How many family offices do vendor due diligence?

Deloitte's 2024 report found that 68% of family offices had not adopted "know your vendor" protocols. Deloitte defines these as reviewing a vendor's security, for example by requesting security audit reports, before contracts are signed.

### Is a zero data retention promise enough?

Usually not on its own. Zero data retention often covers the model endpoint and leaves logs, files, indexes and backups to other terms, so ask question 2 in full.

### What is the most important question for a family office?

Permissions. An AI tool that can only read and draft limits the damage from a fake request, while one that can send email or move money needs approval rules and an audit log.

### Does Regulation S-P apply to AI vendors?

For SEC-registered advisers, the amended rule requires oversight of service providers through due diligence and monitoring, and an AI vendor handling client information is a service provider. Check with your compliance counsel for your firm.


## Related reading

- [Private AI for family offices](/blog/private-ai-for-family-offices/)
- [Consolidated reporting across custodians, without the Excel export](/blog/family-office-consolidated-reporting/)
- [Tracking K-1s across 30 entities](/blog/k-1-tracking-across-entities/)
- [Capital call notices: catching every one, across every trust and LLC](/blog/capital-call-tracking/)
- [The family office technology stack](/blog/family-office-technology-stack/)
- [Family office operations, and where AI changes the staff math](/blog/family-office-operations-and-ai/)
- [What is private superintelligence?](/blog/what-is-private-superintelligence/)

## Sources

- [The Family Office Cybersecurity Report 2024 (Deloitte, 2024)](https://www.deloitte.com/mt/en/services/deloitte-private/research/family-office-cybersecurity-report.html)
- [The Family Office Cybersecurity Report 2024, full report PDF (Deloitte, 2024)](https://www.deloitte.com/content/dam/assets-shared/docs/services/deloitte-private/2024/family-office-cybersecurity-report-2024.pdf)
- [IBM Report: 13% of organizations reported breaches of AI models or applications (IBM Newsroom, July 30, 2025)](https://newsroom.ibm.com/2025-07-30-ibm-report-13-of-organizations-reported-breaches-of-ai-models-or-applications,-97-of-which-reported-lacking-proper-ai-access-controls)
- [Fact Sheet: Final Rules, Enhancements to Regulation S-P (U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, May 2024)](https://www.sec.gov/files/34-100155-fact-sheet.pdf)
- [Enhancements to Regulation S-P: A Small Entity Compliance Guide (U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission)](https://www.sec.gov/files/rules/final/2024/regulation-s-p-small-entity-compliance-guide.pdf)